The thing about not giving a fuck, is that people don't tend to distinguish which type they mean when they say, "I don't give a fuck", or "she gives no fucks". The words mostly stay the same, but the tone of voice and facial expression tend to give it away.
There are at least 3 types of not giving a fuck, and I've experienced them all. You probably have too. But there's one that I prefer by a longshot.
The first way to not give a fuck is active and at least a little aggressive and is usually a rebellion against someone or some entity that is oppressive or perceived to be oppressive.
Ex. 1: "I don't give a FUCK", emphasis on the fuck.
The second way to not give a fuck is passive and comes from utter exhaustion, physical or emotional or both.
Ex. 2: "Idontgivafuck" said with resignation and maybe some exhausted annoyance or an eye roll.
The above have their time and place for sure, but this third way to not give a fuck is giving me life. This not giving of fucks comes from experience and maturity and self-acceptance. These fucks that are not given were earned from years and years of giving all the fucks, until one day, it became crystal clear that giving all the fucks is a prison of one's own creation, is helping no one, and giving no fucks is the key to freedom. Not giving a fuck, in this third way, is not to be confused with not giving a damn. I do give a damn. I give a lot of damns about a lot of people and the issues that impact those people, about our planet and our ability to co-exist and freely thrive as one interconnected organism.
But fucks I will no longer give.
Ex. 3: "I don't give a fuck." Said simply, calmly and maybe even with a barely perceptible smile of serenity. Audible when necessary, but often internal. Translated it means: "I trust myself to know what is for me and what is not."
It's like a secret superpower.
Highly recommend.
Jaclyn Edds Konczal | it's still January, 2022