The want wants
The truest bits
I scarcely dare
Desire
Live somewhere pulsing
Behind my sternum
Between my legs
Deep in my gut
A fire
The want wants stay subdued
And patient
Until they want want
What they want
Then I go quiet
Hushed and trembling
Gripped by the fear of wanting
So deeply, any thing
Small me learned to deny and resist
My want wants
To protect myself from disappointment
Loss and betrayal
To keep me from the bad bads
When all I wanted
Was to be good
Until big me could see
Now it was me
Betraying me
Repeatedly
Now I listen to my want wants
And I’m afraid
But learning to trust
That I want the want wants and
The want wants want me
To feel free
To choose the want wants
Indefinitely
Jaclyn Edds Konczal | October 2022